I write quickly for I have had one of the most spiritual experiences that have ever been blessed upon me. My spirit and conscience was carried for a time by a wild wolf. This was beyond a magical transformation for that would just be myself in the body of a wolf. No, this time my conscience took a back seat and I felt the full experience of being an animal of the wild. The only way I could describe it is…..pure. There was no doubt about our actions, no politics, no contemplation or philosophy, just pure simple life. Food, hunt, play, and pack, nothing else mattered. I now understand why Amrune goes through this transformation over and over again. I find it ironic that is was her pups, the ones we saved from grey waters attack, whose bodies we ended up traveling in. You can study nature from dawn till dusk, but you will never truly understand it until you have lived it.
When Greymuzzle crawled into our home near death I was very concerned. What could have done that much damage to a powerful creature like Greymuzzle? Then Amaras told us of how he had to go acquire the Staff of Awakening from the woods and complete the ritual. So many questions flooded from me. Why did we need to awaken the wolves now? Why nine when a pack is lead by one? Can Amaras handle this power? Is it a trap? Why did the Druids of the Green just leave a staff lying in the woods unprotected? Palanon started accusing me of being pessimistic. Of course I’m pessimistic. We have cunning dangerous enemies that are literally sprouting from the ground. It is a foolish farmer that does not prepare for winter. None of that mattered when we entered the wolves. It wasn’t all fun though. The pack was attacked multiple times and was caught in a forest fire. I felt there anger and fear as if it were my own. The pack had its differences but cared and fought for each other the same as my own. Perhaps we were not that different at all.
It’s funny, though I didn’t know it at the time I could tell which of my siblings were in each wolf. I don’t know how, I just knew. I wonder what each of them took from the experience? I latter asked Drekath what he learned. He is one of the most disciplined reflective people I know. Throwing him into the mind of a wild animal must have been a harrowing experience for him. All he said was that he “learned balance”. I’m sure if I asked Sylthas what he learned I would get a very long story embellished to the point where he became the great hero of the pack and all beast’s bowed before him. If I didn’t know any better I would say that Sylthas was compensating for something.
I do not know how much time passed when we awoke the final time with the guardian of the staff standing before us. We knew that some of ourselves were passed to the wolf we were in, but the guardian requested that we sacrifice more. I knew that many dangers lay a head for the pack and I was honored to give my strength to my wolf. I feel weaker now and my bones ach and creak as if I aged a century. I care not though, some burdens are worth bearing. Not all of us gave up something though. Amaras was greatly angered by Elensar’s refusal to offer more. Elensar stated that they had done their job and that he was more concerned for the Elves of Kyonin then the animals of the wilds. Though I understand why Amaras took this as a personal affront, he must realize that not everyone has the same priorities as he. I understand why Elensar refused and I respect him for that.
I try hard to grasp the feelings that I had as a wolf but I cannot. I remember what happened, but no the true feelings and emotions. I hope in time we will run into the pack again for I feel now that our destinies will become entwined once again.