A month has passed since our journey to Daggermark and still the events there weigh heavily on me. Dekash nearly lost her life because of our actions. Though I don’t agree with Elensar’s decisions, I don’t blame him for doing what he thought was the right to do at the time. I have learned that not only is he paying for Dekash’s treatment, but is also having her moved to Greengold to be closer to him. I know that he is doing this because the guilt of his actions weigh heavily on him. I just hope that this guilt does not become to much of a burden to bear. In a way, him and Nevar are so similar. I fear that both may become consumed by events out of their control.
Still, Dekash demanding being moved closer to my brother makes me nervous. I do not fear for Elensar’s life. If Dekash’s intentions prove to be sinister, I know that he is more then capable of handling whatever she tries to do to him. I’m nervous because of Hialin’s interest in Dekash and what his plans might be. I still do not believe that he poses a true threat to us or our father, but I have been with the nobles more then my brothers and I know how scheming they can be. By helping Hialin rescue Dekash, I fear that me and my brothers have become pawns for some dark agenda. This is not what I wanted! I offered my services to help settle disputes because Erastil teaches us the value of a healthy community. But now by getting involved in the nobles affairs I feel that this purpose has become corrupted. I look back on the past few years and I have come to the conclusion that I have gone down the wrong path.
Erastil teaches us to value the simple things in life above all else and I need to return to that belief. My service to Erastil has waned since my fathers deceleration and I have felt my connection to him slipping. For the next year I will travel more in the woods of our land to help reconnect with nature and when I return I will devote myself to spreading Erastils wisdom. I have no doubt that in the challenges ahead I will need his strength more then ever.